Naughty.

Sunday night- G had to sing in Smithsville with Sonnenburg Station. The girls and I went along, because it`s fun to all be together, and because we know he likes it so much when we go along.

The night started out a little bearish. G laid down to nap right before we left, and his lazy wife was too busy cruising Facebook- to notice that “we” all were oversleeping. So to make a long story short- clothing was grabbed for little girls, pizza was reheated in the microwave to eat on the way. G didn`t get a shower- and his “show” outfit hung crumpled behind the seat…

Once there, the girls and I transformed our pizza sauce covered selves into clean, fresh, little beauties in the car with a spray bottle of water and a plastic comb.  (Not very fresh, really.)

So anyways- we 3 went in, and sat down.

Of course, this meant I sat alone…

(Fine)

…WITH two little girls- ages, 1 and 2.

We ended up back on some chairs, the house was full. Behind us sat a pleasant looking mother in her early 40s. She had a couple of kids with her that all looked around 10.

(What do you call that age era? I mean we have terms like: infant, toddler, preschooler, pre-teen, tween, teenager… )

But NOTHING for ages 8-11.

(G adds, that they are called ADOLESCENTS.)

Okay.

My girl`s and their behavior- started out below average, but I was happy with that. As long as it didn`t head in the direction of Total Meltdown or Utter Chaos.

Yup, you guessed it and then it all took a nosedive SOUTH.

I can only imagine what that sweet brown haired mother, and her adolescents had to say about sitting behind us as they head for home in  their minivan.

_________________

“Mom, mom! Can we stop at that Dariette?”

“No. Oh children, I want to talk about that mother and her two little children we sat behind tonight.”

All the children grow quiet, and  nod solemnly.

“When the older little girl crawled on her mom`s back and then tried to climb up on the back of the folding chair itself… or when she laid on the floor and snuck chocolate candy from her mom`s purse… or when she rolled across the floor to get away from her mom, until she was laying at the feet of the boys beside her… or when she crawled up underneath her mom`s skirt and then sat up and her mom couldn`t get her out, because she was trying to hang on to one shred of her dignity and was also holding a little toddler…”

One of the children says, “Mom, don`t forget the naughty baby-”

The mother continues…

“Oh and the little blonde toddler the mother held… with tiny wisps of hair that apparently the mother felt was ready to be in pigtails. Ridiculous. Anyways, children, when that baby made herself as stiff as a board various times… or threw all the toys on the floor that her mother gave her… or screamed for the Clifford sippy and then refused to drink out of it… or tried to chew the tip off of the hot pink marker when the mother wasn`t looking, because she was  leaning over to talk sternly to the other girl, oh, and remember how that poor mother`s  skirt was gapping open in the back….”

“Well, anyways, children- that`s what frustration looks like! Oh wow.. bless that plucky, average looking, brownhaired mother”.

Then they pull into their driveway, and go in and eat ice cream in bowls for free.

___________________________

Or something like that.

Yes, the rest of that night was spent doling out discipline, and us playing in the nursery.

(All the readers breath a sigh of relief.)

I HEARD THAT.

It`s funny how you can be crazy in love with little people even when they drive you nuts.

This morning- we laid around and snuggled and smooched and loved on each other before getting dressed and I think I forgave them- right then, for being so bad on Sunday night.

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23 Comments

  1. Wilma says:

    I laughed & laughed! I can – I don’t have kids to mortify me. 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    I laughed and laughed and yes I do have kids who morify me! “Gramma your teeth are yellow.” My dear Mother has now had 2 of her granddaughters (both mine, of course) tell her this. What do you say? What do you do? Remember they had children to and hopefully they remember how those crazy days were. If not, we really are doing our best – lets not stress about it. Speaking to myself here!

  3. Terri says:

    O I cannot imagine! Other than how it goes sometimes with just one child some days. So hard to let go of what I think other people think of how I raise my children. 🙂 I love you all the more for telling the story!

  4. lisa says:

    you are the funniest person ever!

  5. Crystal says:

    I could barely read because of the enormous amount of tears of laughter running down my face. Mostly because I can totally relate and because you have a gift story telling. I’ll be looking for a book with your name as the author! Blessings!

  6. frieda says:

    ha ha…too funny. But you gotta understand: the majority of we ‘fortyish’ women look at toddler’s antics as ‘too cute’ and ’cause for great entertainment’ and ‘that’s not naughty, that’s funny’. And we can’t remember why young mothers stress out about these things.

  7. Anonymous says:

    this DID make me feel better! after coming home from walmart where I laid all dignity aside and crawled on my belly halfways under the shelving to retrieve a bottle of bubbles for Eden.
    It’s amazing how a mom sitting behind me can be a sure ticket to total bedlam on my row….

  8. Linda Hershey says:

    anonymous as in, Linda Hershey

  9. Anonymous says:

    When my children embarrass me in public I close my eyes and dream ahead to the time my grownup mature children will take me to a crowded restaurant …..I imagine myself leaning front in my wheelchair and rolling onto the floor. Payback time. (= That thought keeps me going.

  10. Aug says:

    OK, I Totally LOVE what the person right before me wrote. You know what they say about Pay Backs? Right? Just on Saturday morning Nikki had a total screaming/kicking fit when I wouldn’t buy her a toy phone. Talk about embarrassment. And I guess it helps to keep us humble. We could look at that as the up-side. Maybe.

  11. Tracy says:

    Loved the story and could totally relate. If it makes you feel any better I had all mine at our communion service and I had a zoo on my hands too. Maybe you need to do a post on how people teach their children to sit still in church……I would be so open to some advice on that issue.

    • Jenny says:

      have you never noticed g and i are at our wit`s end every sunday until dan`s laura takes laila? it`s like our kids need 3 parents for them to be happy.

  12. diane says:

    i cannot imagine. i would be five shades or red. i think moms are power houses. i really do.

  13. diane says:

    of red. not or red.

  14. Ashadee says:

    LOVE! What an amazing gift of words you have! God bless you with much laughter and patience!

  15. Rachel says:

    oh, what a scream! altho’ I totally feel your ‘pain’…been there one too many times sitting alone with my 3 while my husband is up front, and some angelic family will sit near us and it’s all it takes for my kids to turn into a 3 ring circus. 😀

  16. Anna says:

    I LOVE that other people have normal kids too!

  17. Heather says:

    Oh dear. I feel for you but I think we’ve all had these kinds of moments. I’ve had to learn to not care as much about what others think and just work on taking care of the situation properly. Someday we will be the 40-ish women. :0

  18. Ruby says:

    i am soo glad you can laugh at yourself deary… this brot MANY memories back …been there and we survived but to be honest when i see mothers struggling i don’t get all critical i just feel DEEP SYMPATHY ..and i know it’s tough when you’re sitting alone~~hang in there!!

  19. Mirta says:

    I think I held my breath as I was reading 🙂 thinking…. “how could it get worse?” I know the feeling……

  20. Rosene says:

    Jenny, I think it is truly sad that I don’t know you even tho you’re married to my cousin! I love reading your blog, especially your posts about your kids, especially now that I have kids! But the good thing about being a nanny to foster kids is that when they are out of control, you can always reassure yourself that they aren’t actually yours, the bad thing is that you don’t have a hubby to hand ’em off too!

  21. Shannon says:

    When they are young like yours it seems like others can forgive their behaviour, however when they are 5 and 7 and still cannot hold still and keep from fighting/banging/ falling off bench/want to lay down and lounge around for 1 hour. then it seems like there has been a severe training lapse. We throw up our hands almost every sunday.

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