I have been very unsettled lately, with so many different subjects rolling around in my head.
Most of them my husband and I have been discussing- and I can`t really say I have found real closure for some of them.
Here`s one thing I wonder about, and I would love feedback from you on this.
Does our “spiritual gift” or our particular passion- ever become an idol to God (in his eyes) instead of an offering to Him?
Okay, so I will use myself as an example. I`m not just nuts about talking about myself but anyways. Here goes.
I feel passionate about many things- I won`t bore you with what they all are- but one that feels obvious, and comes through on this blog is: women embracing beauty.
I will admit, sometimes I kind of hate that- because of this blog- somehow I am tagged with this as my seeming mantra, because it`s not really my thing NEAR as much as people think it is.
But maybe I don`t know myself either. Sometimes I wonder.
It was brought to my attention recently, that perhaps embracing “beauty” (gag, kind sick of that word already- and I have a feeling I`ll be using it a lot more before this post is over) could really be a way to live the American dream and make it spiritual.
Yeah, I`m wrestling with that.
Because here`s the deal. There is way too much hurt in the world and children going hungry- to even think about the minute details of a humble, but still very wealthy, home in the US of A. And of all the things that God was most passionate about- it was the forgotten and voiceless and us doing all we can to be that one hopeful light in a very dark night for them.
Can anything else REALLY matter?
Wow. I am so there.
But then I think but no, I cannot leave it at that, I still have to come back to what I feel passionate about- and I am convinced it is important too. I have to fight for this!
(Isn`t it funny how when we are passionate about something, we always assume it is of MOST importance (to God)?)
So, to me: beauty DOES MATTER.
Satan was created the most beautiful angel in heaven, when he fell, his beauty wasn`t from God anymore. Now what he possessed was only Satan`s own sordid imitation of beauty.
Because, Satan cannot ever come up with his own ideas, he can only twist what God already came up with.
I am so convinced that Satan wants to fully destroy women in the area of beauty, because he can`t stand how jealous it makes him when he looks at woman and sees that God created her with beauty as her defining trait. A picture of God Himself.
[Side note: men`s defining trait being leadership and strength.]
I am sick of women in my culture feeling shame for longings that God created them with. It`s like a friend said,
“When women aren`t free to express beauty- it comes out somewhere- you see all the canning jars lined up according to color and texture.”
God created us to crave and create things lovely. All good things come from God right? And I believe women display this area of God`s attributes. I am pretty sure men aren`t the ones gifted in loveliness and softer touches.
Think about it.
When sin came into the world, think of how easily God could have decided: Sinners deserve brown. He could have turned the whole earth to murky, muddy, brown or pallid, lifeless, gray.
All of nature is brown.
Every newborn baby is gray.
All sunsets are muddy.
But He didn`t!
It`s so obvious God gets joy from creating, and creating breathtaking masterpieces. Even amidst ugliness of sin in this messed up world. What a GIFT.
Next time you marvel at a part of nature say,
“GOD IS REAL. There is no way something so pure and beautiful could exist in a rotting cistern like this world- without a GOD to have preserved it .
Satan tells women many false things about true beauty, some are: beauty is pride, you are ugly and can never attain/possess beauty, or beauty is self made. He says, You are the owner of your beauty.
[Which is funny because Satan being the “owner” of his beauty was his curse. God left him with his own corrupt imitation of it. ]
Beauty has nothing to do with a woman herself. It has nothing to do with the features of her face or the texture of her hair.
To me, the best way to describe true beauty is the word: reflection.
When you see a Godly woman, you look at her, but when you see her beauty you SEE God.
I am so far from this, (I want to laugh now) but, it makes me happy because I feel I have a clearer picture than ever of where I want to be.
You can`t be insecure when you possess true beauty. Why? Because it isn`t even about her/you/me. It`s about God. It`s supernatural.
A few other random thoughts:
We would never tell a man he has to leave his strength in spirit behind, or become/look weak- to be free from pride.
It can`t be done- it`s just a part of him. What would even be left of man if he were not allowed to portray the very thing God created him to be defined with?
So why do we ask it of woman? If you tell me beauty is pride and a hindrance to God…
… I can only think- can you ask her not to breathe?
Is it wrong to breathe when rescuing someone [saving an orphan]…. if it comes perfectly natural to you?
It wouldn’t get in the way of anything bigger- because it would just be there as you do the bigger thing.
So back to my earlier question.
Is it possible to get so strung up on what you think is huge to God…
(when really God is so huge, to us it`s confusing as to what day-to-day things could be MOST huge to Him)
…our passion–that we don`t realize it has become an idol?
Is it possible for women to feel fulfilled doing something (creating etc.)– and then one day realize it isn`t even reflecting God at all?
Or is that a lie from Satan since he is obsessed with destroying Real Beauty?
Like this blog where I capture what I think is beauty in a day- and it brings me so much relaxation and joy to dabble around with it– but some days it feels really small and maybe God isn`t in it at all. Some days I feel unsettled about it all. Is it pleasant… like a back rub, but not Worship at all?
Practical day-to-day is HARD. We live here. On earth, in America. The odds of that happening (being born here) are so slim and yet we do.
We have houses. We have time. We have enough money. We have children and husbands. We love them. We want them to have happy memories. We want them to feel safe. We want to create a safe/happy/loving environment. We want that iconic American dream, I mean, in a way we do.
Is that okay? I`m not really even sure.
How does God want us to live? Women, what is God`s plan for us? What if we don`t get to live in this “blessed” lifestyle forever? How much “safety net” is healthy when raising a family? Is it unrealistic to teach our kids to enjoy the “happy bubble” we live in?
Please weigh in people, I`m more confused now then when I started…
“Unsettled, yet Passionate”