Humor Wins.

Thinking about something interesting…

{Image from Improve my marriage.com}

Last night I was up late, reading the Reader`s Digest, (which has been my favorite mag since I was 12 or so), and there was an article in there, about a secret the happiest and longest married couples share: What is it? They know how to have some GOOD JOLLY BANTER with one another.

Not teasing or sarcasm, Reader`s Digest said, but good old-fashioned shared jokes. It`s that tie that binds.

(Speaking of sarcasm, I read recently that rolling your eyes at your spouse, is one of the deepest and most subtle signs of disrespect. So just don`t ever do that. It`s really mean. And degrading.)

Then, it went on to say that laughter is the most intimate two people can get without touching. (Crying would be the same idea.)

Seriously! Just think of all the ways that is so true. For myself, if  G and I didn`t know how to pinch eachother for emphasis in public, or laugh in private– I`d say I would be dried into a stale piece of (pizza? bread? pie?) crust by now.

And on the single scene: I am also thinking of some pretty cheesy Bible school bonding in 1996 right at this moment– that may or may not have included teary prayers, in a blue van,  among gals and guys.

If you want an example of the kind of thing my husband does, that makes me really laugh– here is one. Like last night, I was on the computer, and he was standing here beside me, and we were arguing about a tiny little subject that CLEARLY he thought I was “off’ on. Back at ya, hon-EY.

Well, when my husband thinks he is right and I`m not sure he is, boy do I dig in my heels, and hang on for the ride, because he doesn`t get to be right in the end, with a cheery submissive,

“Alrighty, sugar!” (As I skip off to finish the laundry)–

from me!

Anyway, well he was laughing at oh, so misguided, me, and then in mocking talking, he made sweeping waterfall motions down over his head and said,

“Let this wisdom just WASH down over you, honey. Just wash down over.”

See now to me, that`s what makes life fun. It was like, grindingly annoying and superfunny at the same time.

To make sure he lets me post this, I will say 95% of the time he is right. We both know it. He is a wise cookie, or… likely I`m  just brainwashed.

ANYWHO–

Then I was also thinking about how Shaunti Feldhem`s newer book, For Young Men Only brings out the shocking(!!) insight that gasp(!!) girls are more drawn to a boy that`s funny and confident, then one that is hot.

Light bulb!

But I`m sure now that you didn`t hear a word I said– because you`re just wondering why I am reading a book for teen boys, about how best to snag chicks.

Oh, untwist your shorts.

Sometimes G has books for teens in his car for school. So when I quick run his Suby to Walmart at 11 at night to get groceries while the girls are sleeping… I see them on the passenger`s seat… feel lead  to be curious… are sucked in by the fascinating polls… and then.. take it into the house to read.

Yes. I DO feel dumb as I curl up on the couch with it… But no one can see me. …But the boy on the cover of the book knows. The adolescent boy with his finger to his mouth in a whisper motion. HE HAS A SECRET. Hopefully his secret isn`t about finding me on the couch reading his book.

Anyway, so yes, G and I both have found the For Young Men Only book insightful.

I remember the first time he started reading it, he came all the way up the steps, into where I was getting ready in the bathroom.

He said,

“So it`s not just you after all. When you always said that when it comes down to it, girls rate “good humor” higher then “looks” in a guy. I always just thought you were weird like that.”

I said,

“Duh. Of course. You really didn`t know that? A boring, hot guy is a real dread! What is a girl supposed to do for the next 60 years if she marries him?  Just continue to look at him? Every day. How BORING. Girls like to TALK about hot guys… but I`m not sure they really WANT to marry them? Most girls want a down to earth, well rounded, nice guy.”

So none teen boys that read my blog. Listen up! You can get that girl even if you have man-boobs, you can! The only reason I said that, was because that exact story is in the book. I have to admit, it stuck out to G and I. For some… reason… that part stuck out to us.

And also teenager boy, if you`re aren`t sure how to do it. Just laugh at every word that comes out of your female crush`s mouth. Like G did when he liked me. He literally laughed at every word I said. I started thinking I was actually entertaining. He called my parents once, before we were a couple. My mom said later,

“Who was that guy? He just laughed at everything I said.”

Mom, way to steal my thunder.

Sadly though, since we are married– I have to practically break a sweat to get him to laugh at me. Because now HE is funnier.

What a rabbit trail of a post.

G is concerned that I say my/the “theories” in this post, are not to be taken as Gospel truth. Just discussion blather.

The Bible didn`t say humor is the root of a good camaraderie in a marriage. The Reader`s Digest did. If you`re really looking for answers, check the former (The Bible).

So remember: I only said this all is: interesting. It is not a learning seminar.

~~~

And how do you like my title play on Rob Bell`s controversial new book? Clever, huh.

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22 Comments

  1. Anna Kauffman says:

    yeh! I love it. Thanks for the reminder to laugh together.

  2. Heather says:

    Jenny- Love the title. 🙂 To be honest, I didn’t even see the title. I was so excited that you posted I never even read the title till I got to the very end and you mentioned it.

    Ideally, one would do what I did and marry a guy who is funny AND looks good. Ok, I’ll stop being cheesy.

    But really I think laughing/crying/sharing emotion together is bond building. I can’t imagine how dry the last 10 years without all the times of laughing till you are ready to cry.

    • Jenny says:

      heather, glad you said that. i felt cheesy– but i wanted to say (in my post) that i feel lucky because i also think i got a “package deal.” i find my husband physically superhot, as well. 🙂

  3. Lydia Jo Martin says:

    Oh Oh! Good post. It’s so true, a good laugh w/ the husband is the food of love. Or something like that.

  4. Lynnelle says:

    loved this post Jenny! Nothing makes me happier than laughing with my husband. Thankfully both of us are gifted with an odd sense of humor and usually find similar situations even tho no one else may be laughing.

  5. Aug says:

    I don’t know how many times Jeremy and I talk about this…how much we like to laugh together. And so many times we find the exact same things to be funny! You know…I think your “Theory” is pretty RIGHT ON! You can tell Galen I said that! I would go even further to say that I don’t think you WILL marry a man who you don’t find to have a good sense of humor, because that is part of what makes you fall for them. Besides the hotness, of course! 😉

    Loved YOUR humor in this post! You are such an interesting writer.

  6. Shannon says:

    Is this not SO true. I distinctly remember thinking about whether a guy was funny or not back in the day. And I remember being totally bored by a guy who was very nice and pretty hot, but that was it. I mean what is there to talk about? My theory is – when you don’t know what else to do try laughing. It usually releases tension and at least makes the situation bearable.

  7. Cindy says:

    i’m thinking that what i read here is pretty doggone close to gospel truth. because it is what i’m believing and you put it all so nicely into sentences for me. 🙂

    *laughter IS good medicine* and who doesn’t need medicated at times when married??? i would like to know! hahaha.

    The Farmer has the CrAzieSt sense of humor and made me laugh like nobody else ever. and he seemed to “get” me like nobody else ever…

    • Jenny says:

      cindy, love your last line. 🙂 it ALWAYS makes me happy to hear of couples who enjoy eachother. always. 🙂

  8. margaret says:

    Last month when we went on our cruise, they had a sexiest man contest up on the pool deck. It was Thee most nauseating display of obnoxious behaviour ever.After one and a half contestant’s worth of stupidity my book and pina colada had a Lot more attraction.
    A couple hours later there was music and dancing and my heart puddled all over the place. A mother sat on a deck chair with her sleeping baby while her husband danced with their preschool daughter in his arms.
    I told my husband that someone should tell those pathetic wannabe’s how to really attract a woman.Then, because it was such a breathtaking picture of real manliness I marched over and told the dancing man’s wife that he should have been out there earlier winning the contest.
    It wasn’t humor, but it was far more breathtaking than goodlooking!

    • Jenny says:

      good story!!! oh, that just makes my day and i can`t really even say how true that is. no woman wants a rippling armed, greasy, snotty stallion.

  9. Kristy says:

    “i have to break a sweat to get him to laugh now, cause he’s the funny one”……
    that made me giggle. i understand! But i just can’t help laughing at all his dry humor and jokes.
    laughter is just plain good… with anyone. last week i went shopping with an old friend. i could care less if i bought a thing. we stood in the dressing rooms, along the racks and just roared. we were both in dire need of it, but if anyone had followed us around that day, they would have reported us to the looney farm for sure.

  10. Anonymous says:

    …this is too funny but i will not encourage my son to read this …he’s too funny already and i am at the other end of spectrum trying to at least get one serious bone in him…ok…i really wouldn’t change him a bit .. but would this give him some serious ammo…

  11. Amy says:

    THAT was a good post! Your writing is inspired! Thanks. I’m going to read the book now. I’ve got three boys coming up…and they are some good looking little boys but I want good humored big boys someday….

    • Jenny says:

      good looking boys WITH a great sense of humor? wow! you will have girls lined up. 🙂 🙂 i`m being serious.

  12. Amy says:

    🙂 I hope they’re sweet. 🙂

  13. Sandi says:

    I love it!! Very true, too, I am convinced that one of the reasons I am still in love with my husband after 20 tears (besides the fact I promised him I would hang in there) is that he makes me laugh. I totally know what you mean about very annoying and funny at the same time – sometimes it kind of ticks me off that I have to laugh ’cause I still want to be mad for a while 🙁 🙂 But it IS more fun to laugh at them if you enjoy looking at them too 🙂 The confidence thing is big, too.

  14. Linda Hershey says:

    now you know it- humor wins hands down everytime. the women up there said so!
    i said that i think good looks are 30% and good humor is 30% and the rest of the percentage that equals hotness is just naturalness and good vibes…i think i still stick with that. b/c , really. would you honestly have fallen for Galen had he been shorter than you, bad problem of letting saliva collect around his mouth when he talked fast, AND man-boobs?? with a great sense of humor, of course.
    Weldon loves to impersonate Bill Clinton and Joel Osteen. He has gotten good enough to make me laugh hysterically. and so when i feel awful and like such a loser in life, he mimics them and i laugh… i love to laugh.
    i love listening to you talk about you and Galen. makes me happy that you have such a free-spirited, opinionatedly funny relationship.

  15. I LOVE this!! So inspiring, encouraging, uplifting! I just laughed all through this post too ~ I think you and G have a really cool relationship. I love the friendship I see in you guys, how you just *like* each other. 🙂 I was never a funny person at all, so I can’t relate to Ben always laughing at me before we got married. But HE has a very funny sense of humor, and I know what it’s like to be in the middle of a disagreement and just had to laugh at him ~ in that moment it feels so annoying that I can’t help laughing, but it feels so right too… I just really like this, and I feel like I can learn a lot from you guys!

  16. amber says:

    well, if we ever double date I’m sitting w/ my legs crossed extra tight cause YOU CRACK ME UP, and then you say G is hilarious too?? I’d be peeing my pants before the night was done, for sure! 😉

    so loved this post! needed a good laugh this morning.. and the reminder to do so more w/ my honey, and the reminder to NOT roll my eyes, and the reminder that books for teenage boys hold great insight for married ladies, and the reminder that there’s hope even for those guys w/ man boobs!! hee hee.

    happy wednesday dear~

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