Well, I am going to try to post something.
I come here and it just looks like a weedy garden to me. My header really bothers me. It has to be 3 years old– since that baby up there is big Laila. Also, I was looking at each of the pictures and I do not have ANY of those things anymore, or it looks way different.
Since I have no wind in my sails for writing right now I thought I’d go numbered/Christmas newsletter style. Maybe that will help. No idea what will happen from here OUT…..
1. I slept very little last night. Laila came to my bedside and woke be up 3 times. Once she told me she was very hungry for a milkshake. I told her to get in bed with us as fast as she could– anything to divert her from those thoughts, anything is better than trudging down the steps and firing up the blender at 3 am. Then she did, but she poked and poked me until…. well, I don’t remember what happened after that.
2. But anyway, because of that, after taking Elle to school and coming home, loading the washer, and feeding Laila….. I put her on a Sesame Street computer game and fell asleep for a few hours. Tonight when G came home– the house was a complete and total wreck, but his wife was very cheerful and rested. I think he was happy about it.
When he gets home from work, I always explain why the state of the house is what it is. He thinks it’s kinda weird and asks me sometimes why I do it. I guess I just want to be worth my wages.
Tonight I said: “By the way, the reason the house is such a wreck is because I slept on the couch for hours today.”
He said absently, “hmm.”
Me: “So what’s that look– I can’t tell, jealousy or disapproval?”
G: “It’s really- what do you call it- when you just don’t care… apathy? No, indifference? It’s FINE.”
3. I really like my husband. I mean I like him. I have been thinking about that lately. He is the most interesting and engaging person I know. And he is not dull. Dull and unimaginative drives me crazy, I think.
The other night we were sitting in bed talking, he was working some advanced algebra in a real nerdy way on his computer. We were discussing hashtags– you know: #.
G: “I don’t know why you hate them so bad. I mostly think they are just hilarious. I love ’em.”
Me: ” I just cannot believe you are serious. You.like.them?”
G: “You know what your problem is? You just don’t have a sense of humor.”
Me” “Um, yes, you are so right. That’s why I think you’re so funny all the time.”
Oh man. Get a slam, BOOM! comeback with backhanded compliment. I fell asleep high on that one.
Most people write cute things their little kids say– I guess now I just write cute things I say.
4. Elle is in school this year. She is 5 now, and so much more well-rounded than she used to be. I think she is braver, more confident, smarter, more hardworking (disciplined), and she is reading a little already. Thank you to whatever her teacher is doing with her. Plus, 2 days a week I feel like I have a babysitter. Laila and I do all kinds of crazy stuff while she is at school, like going to the doctor…. getting groceries… sleeping on the couch…. and socializing at fun places. I love it.
Here are a few pictures of School Elle.
Walking to the gate with her ‘I’m just bumming at home today’ sister.
5. If you see me in 4 weeks, I will have a baby with me. I am over-the-top excited. I am sure I was this excited with my other two– it’s just that…. it has been LONG since we had a baby. Long. My girls don’t even know what it’s like. I cannot wait to experience it all as a little family.
Reality, I know: in 5 weeks when I am living out this ‘dream’– likely you will not hear from me on here, because I am just here in my house tearing my hair out. Oh, well, I am still excited. And I will have Vicadin. Actually that sounded like a joke, but really when you have been cut with a knife– reality is that you need a healthy dose of that stuff. Sad, but true. 🙁
6. I am pretty apprehensive about the actual surgery, you can say a prayer for me? It’s just I have e.v.e.r.y step of the way memorized, and there are like 5 steps that in my head I already have to breath through when I think of them.
7. Today I was listening to the radio and the speaker was saying that Jesus sweated drops of BLOOD before he was sent to the cross. It impacted me. Jesus never sinned, he was perfect always. Yet he knew physical agony about future pain.
That really comforted me– I think I picture that, as a person in tune with God, I should sit elegantly with my hands gently folded, and a look of peace on my face (preferably looking heavenward), as I think of things I am nervous about.
8. How has my PG been going? I hate to say it. Very well. I told G that 80% of the day, I forget I am pregnant. I basically feel the same as regular me. (Because regular me is always hormonal and sleepy.)
.75 fabric from thrift store and comfy as can be.
One of two mums I purchased for the outside– oh look, they are turning brown from someone who never waters them.
Finally two days ago I ‘falled’ up the mantel. It’s not perfect, but it’s cleaner and it makes me feel cozy so that’s all I care about.
10. Candles make me so happy.
11. G is gone tonight– he is reffing a football game at school. Elle is drawing at the table. Laila is curled up on the couch sleeping- I’m not sure whether to carry her to bed, or wake her. I threw all the supper and cookie making dishes in the dishwasher, now I am sitting here. I should be packing– we are going away this weekend. A venture that joins school related things and being with Kauffman family. It should be a great weekend.
12. It seems as a family with young children– you can go through some DRY times socially. Amen? But somehow lately we have been so lucky and have enjoyed so many fun times with company, out of state friends, and just special times here and there having great conversations with good friends in the last few weeks.
I feel really grateful because with baby coming (along with winter), I think it could be a very quiet, hibernating kind of winter.
Here I will insert a few pictures from the times I took time to get out the camera…
We LOVED getting to host Charles and Cindy for the night. They just moved home from Bangladesh, so we had not seen each other for 3 years!
Scrappy looking cuties, eating an early breakfast.
We have this CD, by the Hostetler Kids that has a darling song at the end about dancing with daddy. (I won’t lie- I tear up) Anyways G and Laila religiously dance with the song every night– and sometimes during the day. Here they are teaching it to Chuck and Chayla.
(Here is another rendition of the song- if you want to hear it.)
My aunt and uncle came to spend a few days with all kinds of family a few weeks ago. We got to have them for a few days. I even was lucky enough to keep them for 2 nights. Always lots of good talks, being tourists, being with family, and good food eaten in good company when they come to town!
My uncle Terry has a very awesome, dry sense of humor- can you tell?
Well, that is longer than I thought it would be. I feel a little more caught up now. I can’t say for sure– but I have this feeling I may not post here again before the baby. But who knows? The urge to write can strike at the oddest times. Maybe I will blog hospital-bedside. Doubt it though.
HAPPY FALL SEASON TO YOU. I just, just love it……….